Day 2 to a Great Marriage - Check Your Feelings

Hi everyone!

So, before we get to today, how did you do with Day 1?

Did you make your list of 31 wonderful things about your husband that made you fall in love with him in the first place? Did you tell him one of them yesterday? And today? If not, that's okay, just start today by telling him two things.

Now, I can't ask you to do something I'm not doing along with you, so for the record, here are a few from my list about Duane:

1.       His enthusiasm for life!

2.       His big dreams

3.       His romancing me 

4.       His tenderness

5.       His handsome looks

6.       His encouragement to be/do all I was created to be
7.       His love for and loyalty to God

I'd love to read some from your list (so please feel free to post them below).

Okay, now for today...

DAY 2: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Check Your Feelings

Making yesterday's list was intended to bring up lots of good memories and with them good feelings, but it can also bring up any bad feelings you may have...for instance, resentment that has developed over the years about something(s).

This is a good thing, believe it or not!  Why? Because it shows you some of the baggage you have to unpack as you venture forth on this path to a great marriage.

And here is some simple, bottom-line information that has helped me, and others I have been privileged to able to share it with...

Feelings come from thoughts...and thoughts come from beliefs.

Whether you have a good feeling or a bad feeling, it springs from a thought (or an attitude, which is the result of many thoughts about the same thing). And when you connect the feeling to the thought and/or attitude that generated it, you can then identify the 'belief' behind it.

It is true that what we BELIEVE about something, determines what we THINK about it, and thus 'FEEL' about it.

For instance, if I believe I am unattractive (ie "since I've had the baby; or since I've gotten older; or since I've gained weight"), then I will think things such as, "I can't wear a bathing suit in public; my skin is so wrinkled; he's probably not attracted to me like this." These thoughts will then illicit bad or sad feelings.

This, of course, goes for how you feel (think & believe) about others as well.

So, beginning today, and throughout the rest of these 31 days  - Check your feelings. Now, don't overdo it - or you'll develop a paralysis of analysis! Instead, let your feelings be clues to what you really believe about yourself (which affects your marriage), and about your husband.

Write these 'clues' down; and ask God for help. He said, "The truth shall set you free." And when we are free, everything gets better.

It might look something like this...

"I'm feeling ______________ right now, and it stems from thinking about _______________________."

Then ask yourself why you think this:  

"Because when _________________________ happened I thought/it made me feel_______________________ and I began to believe____________________________.

 

Ask yourself, are those beliefs true? In other words, on the truth? If so, you probably need to forgive. If not, then you need to replace what's not true (false thoughts/attitudes/beliefs about them) with the truth.

Negative feelings merely reveal unfinished business that needs to be taken care of as suggested above. And let me just say, it's worth it.

*Please Note: For deep hurts that still exist as a result of things such as the wounding of adultery, it will take a deeper work. You can forgive, but still need healing. So, don't fear addressing deep hurts or getting some help. God wants you to be whole, and He will help you if you ask Him.