Day 21: to a Great Marriage - Assess Where You're At

Congratulations! You've made it through 3 weeks, and that's fantastic!  There's a long held principle that 21 Days of doing anything creates a new habit or change. But more on that in a minute.

How did Day 20 -- Pray Together go? I hope you took a little time to read some of the articles and resources available on this subject, whether praying together is already something you do, or not. Good stuff.

Okay, for today...

DAY 21: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Assess Where You're At

There's some controversy over the 'science' of sticking to a new goal for 21 days to gain a new habit or changed behavior. It started probably in the '70's with the book, "Psycho-Cybernetics."

But, whether it takes 21 days or 31 days or 101 days or longer, this is true -- when you stay with a goal; when you continue to invest in the things you value -- change does occur.

There's even an App to help you track and encourage you in your resolve. Check out HabitForge :)

You know that whether it's a diet you're on or a fitness program you've started, or any other 'new thing' you are putting into practice, that assessing how you are doing/where you are at is an important part in realizing success in the endeavor. And that is what today's suggestion is all about.

I have to admit it, I am a list person...it's the only way I can keep all the balls in the air. It helps me remove all the 'have to dos' from my brain and be free to give the attention I need to whatever is at hand.

So, today is the day to go over the list of the past 20 Days to see how you're doing, (you might want to print it out) over a cup of coffee or tea (mine is a Chai Latte), and assess how you've done. Check off the things you've done; highlight the things you haven't done yet; and then resolve to do those today, or if there are several, this week, to catch up.

No worries where you are at...today is a new day and a fresh opportunity to pick it up again. As Duane likes to remember me, when I need encouragement in continuing to press forward on a goal like dieting or fitness, "It's not where you've been, it's where you're going, that counts."

You've been investing in your marriage over the past 3 weeks, and anything that you've done to plant good things will bear fruit.

That's it! Assess and press on! :)

And I'll see you tomorrow.

Day 18: to a Great Marriage - Try Something New

Hi everyone,

Well, how was Day 17 -- Dress for Him? Today is the perfect day to put that suggestion into practice...it's the weekend and a good chance you'll go on your date night!

And to go along with that today's suggestion is to...

DAY 18: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Try Something New

Go somewhere to eat or do something you've not done before on date night!

Duane and I incorporated this into our date nights something like this:

One week we'll go out to dinner and a movie (something he loves to do); the next week we'll have date night at home (lots of fun and creative ideas at sites like the Dating Divas); the next week we try a restaurant we've never been to before; and the fourth week we'll do something we've never done, ie go to an outdoor concert in the wine country or visit a part of our area we've never been for night-time sight-seeing, etc.

That's it!

Mix it up! Keep it fresh! And have a great date night this weekend!

Day 8: to a Great Marriage - Carve Your Initials in a Tree

 

How did you do on Day 7 -- Cook Him Something? Robin, a young wife and mom commented, "Hooray! I actually cooked chicken noodle soup today for my sick hubby. (this is a FIRST! Sad, but true.)" I love that! And act of love that was sure to help him feel better!

Okay, for today...

DAY 8: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Carve Your Initials in a Tree

As the Dating Divas write: "What better way to start off a romantic date night, than with an evening walk, right? But what if you had prepared ahead an all natural love note for your spouse to “discover” on your walk? How romantic! Scout out the area along your walking path and find a good tree or tree stump (editor's note: not on someone else's property of course!)that you can carve you and your spouse’s initials into. Then during your walk, you can innocently discover this romantic addition! {WINK!}"

Another way to do it would be to carve the initials together....and even better on a tree in your own yard -- a constant happy memory -- and what I like to call a 'legacy picture' for your children and grandchildren to have down the road of time.

So today carve your initials in a tree. That's it!

Have fun, and I'd love to hear all about it :)

 

DAY 3: To a Great Marriage - Have Fun Together! No Matter Your Age

Well, here we are on Day 3!

How did you do with Day 2 yesterday?  

I know it may have been a little rough as you checked your feelings about the past. It's not easy looking at unresolved issues in our relationships. But, I encourage you to take Day 2 seriously and use those simple tools to help you unpack any baggage that is holding you back, even if just a little bit, from moving forward in the freedom that comes from forgiveness and truth.

Okay, now we're shifting to having some fun!

Fun can be a soothing, healing ointment to the soul and to your relationship. I'm betting that having fun together was a major part of your courtship, and that it didn't matter what you did, because just being together doing anything was fun. Having fun together as a couple should never stop!

Therefore today...

DAY 3: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Have Fun Together!

One of the things Duane and I do is try to sit down together at the beginning of the month and fill out our calendars together, with upcoming things such as work-related trips, speaking engagements, conferences, family and friend birthdays, etc., and then talk about 2 or 3 things (apart from our Friday date nights) that we'd like to do.

For instance, Duane has turned into quite the tomato farmer as you can see from some of the fruit of his labors below. And so last month we decided to go to the World Heirloom Festival which just happened to be held at our county fairgrounds this year.

So, beginning today, and throughout the month - start having more fun together with your husband: #1 little fun things every day; #2 a couple of planned fun things this month. 

#1 -- Take (make) time every day for a simple thing you can do at home like playing a game together after the kids go to bed; watching a favorite comedy movie snuggled up on the couch together with some popcorn; having a pillow fight before going to bed. Just think a little ahead of time as you go through your day of something fun you both would enjoy, and then do it. The benefits will be evident, especially as you have a little daily fun together. #2 -- Get out your calendars and plan 2 or 3 fun activities just for you and your husband to do together this month. What do you both really like to do? Dancing? Star-gazing? Going to the beach or for a ride in the country? Fall is a beautiful time of the year to get out into the country and enjoy nature together. You might want to make a Fall 'bucket list,' and then do them.

Don't ignore the power of fun together -- it is part of what makes a marriage great!

No matter what age you are...

 

I'd love to hear some of your fun times together, and for you to share some of your own ideas with our readers, using the comment box below. Thanks!

Pillow fight tonight!