Day 31: to a Great Marriage - Vow #3 'Til Death Do Us Part

Well, you made it! Day 31 is here and that means today is...

DAY 31: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Vow #3 'Til Death Do Us Part
This final wedding vow: I take you to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward...'til death do us part.

To have (you are the one I will go through life with forever)
To hold (embrace & cling to every day of our lives)
From this day forward (beginning now) and until...
'Til Death Do Us Part

It's what we all want, right? "And they lived happily ever after." Of course, there are situations where wedding vows are broken and divorce happens. This was the case with my mother and father. Both of them came from very dysfunctional families. There was a lot of abuse that they both experienced, and they entered into their marriage both broken people. Mix that with two wars my father was part of, a very sick child (my older sister contracted encephalitis at the age of 2 and was hospitalized until her adult years), well...you get the picture.

But, real life situations like this and others, do not mean divorce is imminent. As a matter of fact, I agree with marriage expert, Jimmy Evans, author of "When Life Hurts" and "Lifelong Love Affair" at marriagetoday.com that anyone can have a marriage that gets better, no matter what life throws at them...if they will let God help them work through the pain. He says, we have to deal with pain the right way, and that left to our own devices we always deal with it in the wrong way.

Evans' insights into Untreated Wounds and Inner Vows are very good, and I believe that if my parents had had resources such as these there could have been a different outcome for them.

Marriage is the longest contractual agreement (commitment) we will ever make or have. And we can be successful in keeping it...'til death do us part'...with the right help from good, reliable sources such as I've included each day of our 31 Days to a Great Marriage together...and from God.

So, today set up a time to reaffirm your love vows to each other, in some way. You can make it a big affair, (some couples renew their vows on their anniversary), or it can be an intimate time with the two of you simply telling each other of your love for one another, again.

I hope you will use/revisit these 31 Days to a Great Marriage ideas and suggestions from 'this day forward.' If you've been with me throughout this time, you have seen the results and benefits...which can only continue to increase as you apply them to, and invest in, your marriage. If you do, I am confident that you will have a Great Marriage...that will last a lifetime.

Congratulations!

I'd love to hear from you about your journey via email @ sharon@changingworldviews.com.

Thanks for traveling on this journey with me (and Duane)  :)

 

 

Day 23: to a Great Marriage - Touch

Hi everyone!

How did Day 22 -- Agree on Finances? I know this isn't something you can do in a day...but yesterday was the day to start looking at how your can come together more in this HUGE area of life...finances>

Today the focus is on...

DAY 23: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Touch

As we talked about the 5 Love Languages on Day 7 and Day 14 and that it was my privilege to interview Dr. Gary Chapman on my radio (see 2/14/11) about his book(s) on the 5 Love Languages...

Another one of the 5 Love Languages is to touch or be affectionate. Believe it or not, men like (non-sexual) affection, too, even if they are not necessarily good at initiating it.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, physical touch is only one of the five ways people communicate and receive emotional love, and some people speak it more loudly than others.














And if your husband's love language is affection - nothing speaks more deeply to him than appropriate touch.

Check out "Don't Allow Touch Deprivation Creep into Your Marriage" - here's little from the article...

"Nonsexual touch is extremely important. Even men need to be hugged, kissed and enjoyed physically by their wives. Did you grow up without any of your physical intimacy needs being met? Many people do. If so, you may have a deficit in the area of physical touch, as well as a skewed perception of the value of physical touch."

 

And as E.E. Kane at LifeScript writes about this:

"The importance of physical touch in marriage may also play a medicinal role, since touch has been shown to reduce stress and relieve pain. A healthy relationship, which includes physical contact between a husband and wife, can be the most bonding, emotionally intimate experience in life.

"They will not continue to ask for physical touch, or make an effort, if they know there is a good chance of being turned away, or even made to feel ashamed of their efforts. No husband likes to be called a pervert, and no woman likes to be thought of as desperate or clingy.

"This little scenario puts the marriage on slippery ice. If one spouse has a huge need for affection, but he or she is not getting it from the other spouse, where will he turn? He might get some affection from children, family, or friends, but his emotional “love tank” (Dr. Chapman’s term) will not be filled. Without physical touch, that spouse is then extremely vulnerable to falling for someone else who will meet his needs."  READ THE REST

So, beginning today make a conscience effort to touch and be more affectionate with your husband on a regular basis. There's so many good reasons to do so!