How did Day 26 -
- Give Time, go? If that is your honey's Love Language, nothing communicates love to them like Quality Time.
Okay, for today the focus is...
DAY 27: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Look at Pictures Together
There's nothing like looking at pictures of the past to illicit fond memories, touch our hearts, and help us remember the positive times of our lives.
As a matter of fact, there's something called Therapeutic Photography; and research that shows that looking at pictures of puppies and kittens, for instance, can make you feel good and even work harder on the job!
So, how much more benefit to look at pictures of you and your loved ones! And looking at them together as a couple has increased benefits, and will make you feel good about your marriage, all over again!
One of the positive benefits of Facebook is that of posting pictures. I mean, think about it, what is it about it that you like? -- Finding out what your friends are up to, and looking at the pictures. Some new research claims that it can even improve your health.
As this article tells: "The (facebook) survey...found that people often use the social network to reminisce, using old photos and wall posts as a form of comfort. Looking back at older photos and wall posts was the main activity and the one that made them happiest. And Psychologist Dr. Clare Wilson, of the University of Portsmouth, who participated in the research said, 'The pictures we often post are reminders of a positive past event. When in the grip of a negative mood, it is too easy to forget how good we often feel. Our positive posts can remind us of this.'"
So, today, get out your pictures and look at them together with your spouse, especially those of your wedding and anniversary.
Now, this is what I call a real 'happy hour.' :)
That's it!
Well, how did you do yesterday with Day 14 -- Use Affirming Words? It is probably one of the best things you can do not just for your marriage, but for your life!
Okay, today's suggestion for a Great Marriage is to...
DAY 15: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Find the Happy Spot!
“For the two of us, home isn’t a place. It is a person. And we are finally home.” ―Stephanie Perkins
When it comes to marriage, the above statement says alot. When you are happy in marriage it doesn't matter where you live, or what kind of house you live in, how much money you have to decorate and buy new furniture with, et al., because your house is not your home. You are going through life with someone you love and who loves you, and (as the plaque in my kitchen says) "Love is a beautiful place to live."
Now, lest I sound totally Pollyanna, let me add that, sad to say it can take years before a couple realizes this truth. But, it doesn't have to. Happiness in marriage results from going through ALL of life together, lovingly, and the resultant "Happy Spot" can be realized any time. Check this out - 10 "Things Happy Couples Do Differently"...
1. They make plenty of time for each other.
2. They don’t beat around the bush.
3. They meet in the middle and work together.
4. Their actions consistently backup their claims of love.
5. They respect each other’s humanness.
6. They focus on what they like about each other.
7. There is far more between them than physical attraction.
8. They resolve conflicts through love, not retaliation.
9. They open up to each other, especially in trying times.
10. They are committed to growing together.
The author has some good things to say about each point, and wraps up with...
"The best relationships are not just about the good times you share, they’re also about the obstacles you go through together, and the fact that you still say “I love you” in the end. And loving someone isn’t just about saying it every day, it’s showing it every day in every way."
So, for today go over the list of "10 Things Happy Couples Do Differently" together and discuss how you are doing in each area and what you need to do to find the "Happy Spot."
And we can't talk about becoming a happy couple without pointing out again that the happiest couples are the ones that have God central in their marriages -- which gives them a real edge on finding the "Happy Spot." (for more on this See Day 13)
Thanks!
After yesterday Day 12 -- Take the Day Off, it's time to turn to a subject you may or may not embrace at first, because you may think of yourself as a 'non-religious person.' But, before you pass over today's suggestion please consider this...Couples that worship together have happier, longer marriages.
So, today's suggestion for a Great Marriage is to...
DAY 13: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Worship Together
Just look at these statistics:
#1 - According to Sociologist Brad Wilcox...
"Based on my earlier research, evangelical women tend to be happier in their marriages than other women, particularly when both the wife and the husband attend church on a regular basis. This idea that Christians are just as likely to divorce as secular folks is not correct if we factor church attendance into our thinking. Churchgoing evangelical Protestants, churchgoing Catholics, and churchgoing mainline Protestants are all significantly less likely to divorce. . . . between 35 and 50 percent less likely than Americans who attend church just nominally, just once or twice a year, or who don't attend church at all. It is true that people who say they've had a born-again experience are about as likely to divorce as people who are completely secular. But if you look at this through the lens of church attendance, you see a very different story."
#2 - Couples who say that “God is the center of our marriage,” are 26 percent more likely than all other Christians to claim to be “Very Happy” in marriage = 76% of husbands and 77% of wives. And only 1% claim a 'proneness' toward divorce.
Click here for bigger view
#3 - According to Christianity Today...
"The 'How's the Family?' report from the Evangelical Alliance also found that Christians were highly likely to accept outside help and advice to keep their marriages healthy. Over half of the married evangelicals surveyed had taken part in formal marriage preparation, while 29 per cent had sought help in their marriage, with the top three reasons being communication difficulties, infidelity, and sexual problems. Steve Clifford, general director of the Evangelical Alliance, said, “Families aren’t always easy to live with but Christians do seem to have a high level of commitment to making them work. The message this research gives us is that most Christian couples refuse to simply walk away from relationships when they get tough. They are not afraid to seek help from professionals and advice from their church, family and friends. Christian marriages are not perfect but they show fewer signs of following the cultural trend of giving up and separating." (read the rest)
Well, there you have it.
And for the record, the statistics that say Christians have the same divorce rate as non-religious people represent those who say they are Christians; whereas these stats show that couples who have God in the center of their lives...they have happier and successful marriages.
So, beginning this week...worship together...at least once a week. You'll be able to judge the tree, whether it is good or not, by its fruit in your lives.
