Day 18: to a Great Marriage - Try Something New

Hi everyone,

Well, how was Day 17 -- Dress for Him? Today is the perfect day to put that suggestion into practice...it's the weekend and a good chance you'll go on your date night!

And to go along with that today's suggestion is to...

DAY 18: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Try Something New

Go somewhere to eat or do something you've not done before on date night!

Duane and I incorporated this into our date nights something like this:

One week we'll go out to dinner and a movie (something he loves to do); the next week we'll have date night at home (lots of fun and creative ideas at sites like the Dating Divas); the next week we try a restaurant we've never been to before; and the fourth week we'll do something we've never done, ie go to an outdoor concert in the wine country or visit a part of our area we've never been for night-time sight-seeing, etc.

That's it!

Mix it up! Keep it fresh! And have a great date night this weekend!

Day 12: to a Great Marriage - Take the Day Off!

Well, how was Day 11 -- Date Your Mate night? Duane and I went out for dinner and a movie. He loves to go to the movies and tells me all the time, 'especially with you.' So, of course, I want to go to the movies, too :)  He goes with his buddies to catch the hard-core action films because they only exhaust my adrenaline stores!

Okay, for today...

DAY 12: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Take the Day Off!

Since today is the weekend, and hopefully you have planned a fun activity for today already from Day 10, consider today a day off from additional suggestions. Just enjoy the day!

Just like we have to let the bread rise, the paint set, the hair color do its job, today is a day for all you've done up to this point to settle, and take root. You've planted, watered, weeded, now give it a rest.

Believe it or not, this is one of the steps, if you will, on the road to a Great Marriage.

Tomorrow is an important day.

See you then,

 

Day 10: To a Great Marriage - Plan Ahead for Fun!

Hi everyone!

The weekend is just around the corner - are you anticipating it...or dreading it? You may have kid's games, other family or volunteer responsibilities, a major house project, guests coming that you have to get ready for, et al.

One thing I (finally) learned was that having something fun planned for the weekend ahead of time, however big or small, pushes on my anticipation button and helps me see and deal with all the responsibilities that lie ahead with a better attitude. It is amazing how much anticipation can energize and motivate us.

As we talked about yesterday Day 9 -- Take Time for Yourself, will help re-energize you to go through not just your day, but your week and weekend with greater ease.
 
So, as simple as it is, I encourage you to...

DAY 10: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Plan Ahead for Fun!

Beginning today, plan your weekend(s) with one fun thing to do with the family, (even if it is just you and your husband), regardless of how packed the schedule may be with responsibilities.

There are loads of benefits:
-It will be a needed diversion for you and your husband.
-It will be fun!
-It will push the anticipation button for everyone.
-It will model important things to your children.
-It will add a little more 'glue' to your family.
-It will bond you and your husband closer in your parenting.

I could go on, but here's an article you might find helpful, "Taking Back the Family Weekend," that has some good things to say about making over your family weekend time to include more fun and relaxation.

And, for a few ideas of fun things to do, check out iMOM for 14 Fun Weekend Family Activities.

Deliberate planning is more than a smart thing to do :)

 

Day 8: to a Great Marriage - Carve Your Initials in a Tree

 

How did you do on Day 7 -- Cook Him Something? Robin, a young wife and mom commented, "Hooray! I actually cooked chicken noodle soup today for my sick hubby. (this is a FIRST! Sad, but true.)" I love that! And act of love that was sure to help him feel better!

Okay, for today...

DAY 8: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Carve Your Initials in a Tree

As the Dating Divas write: "What better way to start off a romantic date night, than with an evening walk, right? But what if you had prepared ahead an all natural love note for your spouse to “discover” on your walk? How romantic! Scout out the area along your walking path and find a good tree or tree stump (editor's note: not on someone else's property of course!)that you can carve you and your spouse’s initials into. Then during your walk, you can innocently discover this romantic addition! {WINK!}"

Another way to do it would be to carve the initials together....and even better on a tree in your own yard -- a constant happy memory -- and what I like to call a 'legacy picture' for your children and grandchildren to have down the road of time.

So today carve your initials in a tree. That's it!

Have fun, and I'd love to hear all about it :)

 

Day 4: to a Great Marriage - Reminisce Together

It's Day 4!

How did you do with Day 3? to start having more fun together with your husband:
#1 little fun things every day;
#2 a couple of planned fun things this month.

If you haven't done it yet I want to encourage you to not skip this one. You deserve to carve out some fun time together after long days and long weeks filled with responsibilities. So, get out that calendar and plan 2 or 3 fun activities just for you and your husband to do together this month, that you both really like to do. And turn up the creative fun juices a little every day.

Okay, so now we start to use the power of reminiscing....

DAY 4: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Reminisce Together
On Day 1 you were to make a list of 31 things about your husband that made you fall in love with him in the first place, and begin to tell him one of them from your list every day. Hopefully that is starting to bear some fruit, and today's encouragement to reminisce will build on that. To reminisce means to simply recall, remember, look back, recollect.

So, beginning today, and few times a week throughout this month carve out a little time together after dinner and the kids are in bed, or when you're driving in the car together, et al., and bring up a fond memory you have about the day you met, your first date, your wedding day, your honeymoon, and then ask him what one of his fondest memories is -- and voila! you're reminiscing together.

Duane and I have been doing this for awhile, and not just about our wedding, etc., such as fun vacations; memorable Christmas trips (this is one we enjoy talking about because when the boys were little we would often make the trip from San Francisco to Los Angeles to spend Christmas with his parents. The drive in the car, though filled with lots of "how long until we're there?" were fun, and bring up fond memories for all of us.

You can also use the months or seasons, ie October; football season, to remember and reminisce about the good times of your lives together.

Adding the power of reminiscing together with your husband (as well as with the children at other times) helps relieve the effects of life's day-to-day responsibilities, stresses and tensions.

And if you need a little more convincing as to the value of doing this, look at what this study found about the stress-reducing effects of just looking at old photos!

For those who want to 'catalog' your shared memories, you can even record your memories; then in a few years, listen to them together, just another way to reminisce. We did this with the boys, and have had loads of laughs, and tears, as we've played tapes of our conversations as a family. Hearing their voices at age two and five and ten, now that they are grown, well, there's nothing else like it.

Doing today's suggestion, and the others on this 31 Days to a Great Marriage, will add fun and joy and draw your hearts closer.

 

DAY 3: To a Great Marriage - Have Fun Together! No Matter Your Age

Well, here we are on Day 3!

How did you do with Day 2 yesterday?  

I know it may have been a little rough as you checked your feelings about the past. It's not easy looking at unresolved issues in our relationships. But, I encourage you to take Day 2 seriously and use those simple tools to help you unpack any baggage that is holding you back, even if just a little bit, from moving forward in the freedom that comes from forgiveness and truth.

Okay, now we're shifting to having some fun!

Fun can be a soothing, healing ointment to the soul and to your relationship. I'm betting that having fun together was a major part of your courtship, and that it didn't matter what you did, because just being together doing anything was fun. Having fun together as a couple should never stop!

Therefore today...

DAY 3: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Have Fun Together!

One of the things Duane and I do is try to sit down together at the beginning of the month and fill out our calendars together, with upcoming things such as work-related trips, speaking engagements, conferences, family and friend birthdays, etc., and then talk about 2 or 3 things (apart from our Friday date nights) that we'd like to do.

For instance, Duane has turned into quite the tomato farmer as you can see from some of the fruit of his labors below. And so last month we decided to go to the World Heirloom Festival which just happened to be held at our county fairgrounds this year.

So, beginning today, and throughout the month - start having more fun together with your husband: #1 little fun things every day; #2 a couple of planned fun things this month. 

#1 -- Take (make) time every day for a simple thing you can do at home like playing a game together after the kids go to bed; watching a favorite comedy movie snuggled up on the couch together with some popcorn; having a pillow fight before going to bed. Just think a little ahead of time as you go through your day of something fun you both would enjoy, and then do it. The benefits will be evident, especially as you have a little daily fun together. #2 -- Get out your calendars and plan 2 or 3 fun activities just for you and your husband to do together this month. What do you both really like to do? Dancing? Star-gazing? Going to the beach or for a ride in the country? Fall is a beautiful time of the year to get out into the country and enjoy nature together. You might want to make a Fall 'bucket list,' and then do them.

Don't ignore the power of fun together -- it is part of what makes a marriage great!

No matter what age you are...

 

I'd love to hear some of your fun times together, and for you to share some of your own ideas with our readers, using the comment box below. Thanks!

Pillow fight tonight!