Day 26: to a Great Marriage - Give Time

How did Day 25 go? -- Initiate Intimacy. It definitely communicates your love in big ways.

So, today's focus is...

DAY 26: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Give Time

Just as Giving Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, so does giving Quality Time communicate love to your spouse, especially if that is their main Love Language. We talked about these on Day 7, Day 14, Day 23 and Day 24, and you can hear my interview Dr. Gary Chapman on my radio (see 2/14/11) about his book(s) on the 5 Love Languages.

For some people, those with this love language, Quality Time makes them feel most loved.

Dr. Chapman at his website writes:

"Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention. I don’t mean sitting on the couch watching television. I mean sitting on the couch with the TV off, looking at each other and talking, and giving each other your undivided attention. For some people, quality time is their primary love language, and if you don’t give them quality time, they will not feel loved. Is it possible that your spouse’s primary love language is quality time?

Listen for Clues

Quality time is a powerful emotional communicator of love. One medicine does not cure all diseases. Just as one love language does not communicate emotionally to all people. If you give your spouse affirming words; If you express love by acts of service; If you touch them affectionately; and they still complain, “You don’t ever have time for me. We used to do things together. Now you are always too busy or too tired,” they are telling you that their primary love language is quality time.

 

Tips for Keeping the Love Tank Full

"I want to conclude by giving you four tips on how to have a quality conversation with your spouse:

1. Maintain eye contact when your spouse is talking.

2. Don’t listen to your spouse and do something else at the same time.

3. Listen for feelings. Ask yourself, “What emotion is my spouse experiencing?”

4. Refuse to interrupt. Such interruptions indicate, “I don’t care what you are saying; listen to me.”

Such active listening will fill the love tank of the person whose primary love language is quality time.

 
So, today Give the Gift of Time. That's it!

And I'll see you tomorrow,

 

Day 9: to a Great Marriage - Take Time for Yourself

The Happy Wives Club has a board on Pinterest on "21 Days to a Happier You" you might want to check out, because it relates to today's suggestion to Take Time for Yourself.

But first, did you do it? Day 8 -- Carve your initials on a Tree. Hopefully you are able to follow along day by day and do as many as possible on the day of the suggestion. If not, just keep a little list of the things you have yet to do on your path to a Great Marriage!

Today...

DAY 9: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Take Time for Yourself

That's right! The old saying, (and life principle) "Ain't nobody happy if mama ain't happy," is true. YOU aee the primary mood setter for your home. And, well...

Now, it's obvious that everyone else in the family can and does effect the atmosphere and attitudes of others, but you have the incredible power to set the stage the mood of your home. And in order to do that, you have to take care of yourself.

You do so much for everyone else, but just like on airplanes when they tell us, in case of an emergency, to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first and then on our children, you have to take care of yourself, and this means taking (making) time to do the things you love to do, that you are interested in, that helps relieve the stresses of life. 

So, beginning today, set aside at least 30 minutes, more is better, to 'pamper' yourself in some way. It may simple be sitting outside with a cup of coffee enjoying the beauty; getting your nails done; trying a new make-up look; soaking in the tub, or whatever you like. Try to do something for yourself every day, or at least a couple of times a week, even if it's a little thing.

It's amazing the power that doing a little something for yourself can have to improve your outlook and mood...and the atmosphere in our home...and our relationships.

Oh, and by the way, The Happy Wives Club is looking for 1 Million Happy Wives to help change the tone about marriage around the world...you might want to join :)