Okay only a couple of days to go on this 31 Days to a Great Marriage journey!
And as we looked at on Day 28 -
- we're going to focus on our Wedding Vows for the remaining days.
Today the focus is...
DAY 29: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Vow #1 For Better or for Worse
No matter if you recited traditional vows at your wedding, or your own vows, the first promise to focus on is the one that expresses: I take you to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse.
I love the "to have and to hold" part & "from this day forward" as it relates to "for better or for worse."
To have (you are mine)
To hold (embrace, cling to)
From this day forward (beginning now and for forever)
For better or for worse (no matter what comes our way)
This is the test of commitment. Everyone can do 'for better'; but -- 'for worse'?
But, 'better or worse' is not the real focus. "I take you...to have and to hold...from this day forward," is the focus. These are the words that are the cemented foundation for all the words (vows) that follow.
It's like when I got my driver's license years ago. I decided ahead of time that every time I come to a red light I will stop. Period. That meant that I wouldn't have to decide every time I came to a red light whether I was going to stop or not. Decision already made.
It's the same with our wedding vows. Decision made ahead of time.
So, today, individually and as a couple reflect on the above, and assess whether your attitude and/or commitment needs refurbishing, (to make clean, bright, or fresh again; renovate).
As we talked about on Day 2: Check Your Feelings, if you find yourself weaker in your commitment, there's a reason or reasons. Today is the day to begin to look at them and then work on doing whatever you need to do to remedy the situation.
After all, this is part of the 'for better or for worse' vow you made. And it may take some time. That's okay! Refurbishing always takes some time...but the end result is worth it.
You might find Gary Smalley's ER4Love helpful.
Until tomorrow :)
Well, here we are - the last week of this 31 Days to a Great Marriage journey!
How did Day 27 -
- Look at Pictures Together, go? I bet you're still thinking about, or have the positive feelings about, looking at pictures together with your spouse. That's just one of the benefits :)
Today the focus is to...
DAY 28: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Recall Your Vows
Chances are good that you recited the traditional vows at your wedding, but there's also a good chance that you and your husband came up with your own vows. And for the remaining days of our 31 Days to a Great Marriage, it's time to focus on your vows you made.
Today, recall your wedding day and the vows you recited. Do you remember them? Can you say them from memory? Give it a try and then look at them (ie below) and if you wrote your own vows then find them and read them together. And let the conversation flow naturally.
Basic Traditional wedding vows:
I ___________________ take you, _______________to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse; for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish, forsaking all others, for as long as we both shall live.
This is a good day to get out the pictures and videos of your wedding day and relive it together, too :)
That's it!
See you tomorrow,
How did Day 26 -
- Give Time, go? If that is your honey's Love Language, nothing communicates love to them like Quality Time.
Okay, for today the focus is...
DAY 27: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Look at Pictures Together
There's nothing like looking at pictures of the past to illicit fond memories, touch our hearts, and help us remember the positive times of our lives.
As a matter of fact, there's something called Therapeutic Photography; and research that shows that looking at pictures of puppies and kittens, for instance, can make you feel good and even work harder on the job!
So, how much more benefit to look at pictures of you and your loved ones! And looking at them together as a couple has increased benefits, and will make you feel good about your marriage, all over again!
One of the positive benefits of Facebook is that of posting pictures. I mean, think about it, what is it about it that you like? -- Finding out what your friends are up to, and looking at the pictures. Some new research claims that it can even improve your health.
As this article tells: "The (facebook) survey...found that people often use the social network to reminisce, using old photos and wall posts as a form of comfort. Looking back at older photos and wall posts was the main activity and the one that made them happiest. And Psychologist Dr. Clare Wilson, of the University of Portsmouth, who participated in the research said, 'The pictures we often post are reminders of a positive past event. When in the grip of a negative mood, it is too easy to forget how good we often feel. Our positive posts can remind us of this.'"
So, today, get out your pictures and look at them together with your spouse, especially those of your wedding and anniversary.
Now, this is what I call a real 'happy hour.' :)
That's it!
