Day 6: to a Great Marriage - Listen

Ahhhh...the fine art of listening.

Who doesn't appreciate and love being listened to?

But, isn't it funny how we all like to be listened to, but not necessarily want to, or make an effort to, listen (really listen) to others, including our spouses?

Our culture produces not just packed and fast-paced lives, but disconnected lives. Even with all the texting, social networking, etc., communication in daily life has become surface for the most part, what I like to call the 'pass the salt and pepper' level.

Listening is truly an art. Unfortunately it has become a lost art.

But, before we get into that more, how did you do with Day 5 -- Relaxing together? If you weren't able to, that's okay, do it today. It will tie in well with today's suggestion to...

DAY 6: TO A GREAT MARRIAGE - Listen

I'm not going to line out the reasons we should listen to each other...they are pretty obvious. But I do want to encourage you to make a deliberate effort to listen.

Let me ask you a couple of questions:

1. How much do you really know about your spouse's work? Not just the people he works with, but details about what happened and how exactly he does what he does, etc.? Our jobs are such a HUGE part of our lives, especially for men.

Showing interest in our spouse's work on a regular basis by asking questions beyond the standard, "How was work today," to sincere, specific questions about their latest project, deal, meeting, etc. is part of what makes a great marriage. Asking and listening validates and connects.

2. How much do you know about the things he is interested in? Does he love to golf? Fish? Watch football, baseball, build with his hands, watch the stock market, etc.?

I have a girlfriend who regularly plays golf with her husband. I asked her if she liked it and she said, "It's okay. I do it because he likes me to go with him." I was so struck with her genuine love-attitude about it, that it made me think about how many times Duane has mentioned he'd love for me to go fishing with him.

So, you guessed it, I decided to do just that. The result? Not many fish on my line, at least not yet...but loads of fun times together of him teaching me how to cast a fly rod, etc....and the real joy for me? He is so happy doing it together! I mean soooo happy.

Okay, so beginning today make a deliberate, conscious effort to ask questions and then listen about your spouse's job and the things they are interested in. You are going to learn a lot more about your husband, and will find him (probably sooner than later) reciprocating with questions about your day and interests more -- and you know you want that, right? :)

Sincere listening is an endearing quality.

Maybe that's why God gave us only one mouth and two ears...hmmmmm